Mayday! Mayday! Mutated Tech-Savvy Sharks Invade Roadways new Tonton Macoutes Open Letter To Minister of Transport et al

Mayday! Mayday! Honourable Minister of Transport, Transport Commissioner and neo massas of new technologies et al

Demokrissy draws to your immediate and urgent attention the surfacing of new and deadly highly tech-savvy Shark species of a genus hitherto undescribed.

The particular behaviour of this new species is its ability to migrate across the oceanlines through ravines, riverines and onto the roadways. They move in shivers and are indeed sending shivers down the spines of road users.

Reports reaching Demokrissy confirm nationwide sightings. Below I describe this species core traits and behaviour, taxonomy, habitat, genus and ancestry, danger to human and inhuman populations, cautionary actions and the like as is expected of the award-winning expertise of the legendary Demokrissy and the DIS Network, about whom you can find out more from this link.

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Self-imposed Curfews of Invisibility

Honourable Sirs of the Roots and Routes of Transport, I trust the detailed data evidence presented can enlighten the to-date inexplicable diminishing presence of humans on such heritage sites of relaxation as Maracas and other similar places our people seek out to escape the stress of daily life.

As you may know, this novel pandemic-like but self-imposed curfew that is seeing empty beaches and other sites, is perplexing vendors, lifeguards, tourism administrators and the like as there has been nothing like it, not even during the State-imposed curfews of the COVID-19 Pandemic!

Yes, the Hon Minister of Health has been known to shed a tear at the ease with which people have resorted to staying invisible and without a Pandemic-like curfew without being told to do so. It does seem to rival other abnormal behaviour noted in our own species as to how the mass infection and deaths of babies at one health facility cause medics from other facilities to send more babies to the tainted one to incubate, ‘they ain’t riot yet,’ and other baffling national phenomenon well-aired to the IMF, World Bank and World Economic Forum and the like!

Beachcoming the World Wide Web

Now Demokrissy’s particular brand of hybridized ultra humanized intelligence that rivals any contrived artificially intelligent beachcomer or web-comer, found hundreds of new species are being discovered everyday, but not this! I assure you of a thorough literature review, having scraped and combed the world wide web and all the scientific magazines and journals – menial tasks of a scarvenging data analyst – as the value of data remain undervalued in our world. Collecting, cataloguing, identifying, inventorying, comparing, cross checking and communicating, I assure you there is no prior record of this genus!

Invisible to Global Inventories

Would you believe, Dear Sirs, that this species is not listed among any of the two thousand new species discovered every year by WoRMS – the World Register of Marine Species – yes, WoRMS do exist!

Neither was it in the inventory of the  hundreds of new marine species discovered off the Atlantic Coasts of South America, described by the Ocean Conservancy, nor did the species reveal itself to the Conservation International expedition that stumbled onto the Vortex of Life – Yes, they did!  And in our part of the world too, when to most of the big-pappy institutions we are a zone of dead, dying or invisible disrupters on the verge of self-annihilation!

Babylon-like traits

Nor was it among the 5000-plus new species of marine organisms identified this month by the Jamaican-based ISA, the International Seabed Authority – located right in the heart of Kingston where commuters dodge similar preying ‘Babylon’ species so ISA may be approached, Sirs, to verify if the characteristics described resemble that species of officialdom that support these Shark gangs or even if they are kin to mutated members of that nefarious organisation known as ISIS.

Value-based Policy and Decision-Making Culture 

Sirs, Demokrissy recognizes the shark-like sharp snap-finger official culture of policy action that ignores expert advice which prompted closure of Tobago beaches along the 50 KM (30miles) northern coastline of Tobago and the brilliant invitation to the public to take delight in shark-hunters for such beggarly sum that equates to the estimated value of life and limb in these parts, ask any home invading gang or kidnapper!

In this vein, we cannot fault the natural illogic to which we have become accustomed that surmises that the miniscule three-meter-long Bull Sharks which recently took charge in Tobago, would naturally self-limit to this particular 30 miles/80km stretch and not flip across the 25 km (16 miles) distance to the other side of the tiny island or the  19 miles/30 km from Tobago to Trinidad!  

It is strange, indeed, but not unusual as most creatures of the free world, as we well know, confine our independent ourselves to niches, groups, cliques and, yes (!) political parties, though the ocean of the vast free world may be at our disposal. So in that vein, while the behaviour of humans remain true to form, the erratic behaviour of this mutated tech-savvy Sharks, is still being documented by Demokrissy and her séance of summoned scientists.  

Expanded Habitat

You see, Dear Honourable Sirs, this new invasive species of shark has already expanded habitat and reach beyond the coastlines to the rivers, ravines and roadways – Psst! Psst! which would also explain the self-imposed curfews and diminished presence on the streets, highways, public parks and play places.

From a survey by Demokrissy, people reported being scared stiff by this species which is gleefully pouncing out of potholed roadways, cracks and niches on highways and flyovers, out of non-functional street lampoles, from clogged and overflowing drains, ravines and riverines and even many-a-meandering lonely stretch of poorly trafficked, poorly lit tracks and traces. The demonstrate an insane capacity to gobble vehicles and their occupants off the road is nothing short of a natural wonder!

Leadership among these Shivers of Sharks

Honourable Sirs, not only are these Shivers of Sharks – for they do move in shivering schools – terrifying to all who encounter them. According to reports, their leader is the most terrifying of all. When asked about curbing the behaviours of his Shivers, he simply laughed in a piggy-on-the-railway engineman manner  ‘what the hell do I care’. It is an attitude that echo all the way through to the top leadership to the lowly gangs too!

Sirs, even when those intercepted, pleaded that the conditions of the roads took their last pennies to fix and make their vehicles roadworthy and begged to please spare their livelihoods, these Sharks continue to pounce, punch out punishment. They are further empowered by the new tech toys they received for Christmas that allows them to punch and pounce at the same time, gleefully meeting out punishments of heavy fines and suspending victims in the air with their pronounced snouts.

Law-resistant Above and Beyond Rule of Law

Sirs, you might have heard that group of affected commuters and taxi drivers sought reprieve from the courts, but while the courts ruled in their favour, it could not reverse the actions of these new Sharks who are even above the Rule of Law!

As the many remarkable standoffs in the legal arena – Ode to Jurisprudence – the species is not just above but also below and impervious to the law. Even if the courts’ rulings cannot reverse or erase their cruel snapping of limbs of livelihood of unsuspecting citizens.

Demokrissy’s expert advisers have likened the species to a tech-evolved Tonton Macoute as the government approved gangs of Haiti that has contributed to that nation’s decent into anarchy. Others have pointed out that they exhibit similar behaviour as those called Babylon in Guyana and Jamaica who also similarly intercept and create terror in commuters.

Now of course Sirs, that is not the opinion of Demokrissy who is still studying their behaviours and collating opinions and will not jump to such conclusions. While the evidence from numerous global studies point to this trend, Demokrissy, as a homegrown entity much prefers to wake up from her seances and ask ‘how we reach to this’!

Detection of Novel Strange Species

Sirs, you may be as puzzled, as Demokrissy, as to how this species went undetected by the laser and other lider and radar technologies our democratic State utilises through its  snoop surveillance squads, including decryption of encrypted Whatsapp and other protected data, some of which was used to sniff out the now famous Tobago Bull Shark that has acquired a Sparrow-like taste for white meat.

Nothing unusual. Blame it on the technologically illiterate. Like the culturally illiterate – no, no, Sirs, I am not singling out you, because the same can be said of other notable departments – they move as other amphibians, in schools but are unschooled in use and interpretating readings from the new technologies of which you may be familiar, as the Ministry of Legal Affairs’ Registries or Finance and the Auditor General Department where billions collected from tax revenue can go undetected, unaccounted and slip pass the illustrious Speakers’ maco Mace, to boot!

Owing to particular agility and ability that they blend in seamlessly with the corrupt demeanour the of ‘all-ah-we-thief’ ancestry. Oh, before you get your protesting knickers in a twist, Dear Sirs, wait for The Evidence, please.

Some Other Preliminary Observations on Behaviour

The species, with newly acquired tech toys can pick up nanoscopic electromagnetic currents of human enjoyment and pop up on particularly joyful holiday weekends, entertainment venues and the like.

It gleefully pounces on victims, surprising them off their wits and chomping off their limbs of livelihoods, notably swallowing whole taxis, maxi taxis and the like who do yeomen drills to supplement the poorly serviced public transportation routes.

With this extra sensory equipment empowers their prowl as they navigate the byways. to find prey.

Taxonomy, Tracing & Lineage

Demokrissy can confirm that the species has never been described, nor named, not even by Carl Linnaeus the illustrious Swedish Taxonomist who named many living things even if they already had names.

It bares similar characteristic to the species unearthed this month, the Roughback Bristle Shark with spike like structure and large mouths that gleefully chomps on its victims.

Although details are still vague, They seem to be a distant relative of the Taxman genus  known to Middle Earth as  Collum of the Land of Chup where billions of tax revenue could get lost in the spanking new, electronic processing systems, as have occurred in other technological transitionings.

Demokrissy is talking this line of investigation with a grain of salt and is instead pursuing another lead – that they may be a descendant of the recently unearthed Troglocladodus trimblei, after all they both carry the same initials –  Tt) – the new genus and species of shark just discovered in the Mammoth Caves of the USA  and this new invasive species disrupting the tranquility of Trinidad and Tobago.

Like this ancestor, in its dinosauric approach to civilised humans, and gleeful predatory behaviour, they may also predate the legendary supercontinent Pangea, and such creatures that lived more than 325 million years ago as the Smithsonian reported of the Tt.

Lifeguards, vendors and administrators at Maracas Beach and other facilities have been confused as to why there has been a decline in patrons at the facility that has been visible over the last few weeks. But the showing of the bullshark in Tobago this weekend provided the clue which set Demokrissy on the trail.

Visitation from Voodoo Maroon Chief Makandal

I too might have dismissed it, Dear Sirs, were it not for a visitation from that shape-shifting founding father of Caribbean Freedom, the legendary marooned Mandinga, Makandal. He whispered into my imagination that this mutant is famalee to the State apparatus that evolved into Haiti’s Tonton Macoute and showed various routes through SSA – I mean South Africa, with origins in the inherited colonial massahood culture of Santimanitay.

‘Chaos! Anachy! Becoming like Haiti!’ he warned, before he took the face of the laughing shark and drifted away.

So Demokrissy felt it better to be safe, than sorry, and so is communicating the findings of this investigation for the attention of you and yours.    

I can confirm sightings from many explorations of the landscapes, mindscapes and seascapes of this small nation of the Global South that shares coastlines with the Atlantic Ocean, Caribbean Sea, and through various inlets and outlets, the vast Pacific and Indian oceans too!

Just proves the urgent need for release of my charting of our interconnected global heritage in Mother Continent – the MultiMedia MicroEpic of the Anthropocene.

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